18th and 19th days... in need for strength

Happy Birthday to...
2nd July- Bret Hart, Christalle Huang
3rd July- Chua Yongmeng, Teddi, Winnie

How I despise myself for the misery I have caused yet again. At some point of time whenever I make a very big mistake (e.g. what happened on the night of April 28th), I feel like wallowing in weeks of self-guilt or even cutting my own wrists (I'm being serious here), but I know too well that doing so won't solve anything at all; it would only serve to worsen my emotional trauma.
I really, really want to enjoy this 4-week stay in Thailand, but I realize too late that it's not all smooth-sailing. Certainly I should have known that this period of time is not without the lowest points... I let my anger get in the way today, and boy did it hurt my father greatly. I was so deep in remorse, I had to retreat to my room and dedicate a few hours of self-reflection via prayer. I really need to keep my emotions in check more than ever, learn to be more tolerant and be slow to anger. Perhaps Dad is right, I may indeed be in danger of a 'spiritual attack' (though I still think that emotions come from within). Here are some verses I read during the time of self-reflection...

Psalm 130
Out of the depths I cry to You, O LORD; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. If You, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD, for with the LORD is unfailing love and with him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Psalm 142
I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before Him; before Him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way. In the path where I walk, men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life. I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." Listen to my cry, or I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me. Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your glorious name. Then the righteous will gather about me because of Your goodness to me.